A role model is someone who influences others by serving as an example. The bond between children and their parents is usually the strongest and overrides all other relationships. It follows that children therefore look up to their parents the most, so their foremost role models are generally their parents/alternative caregivers.
Children also look up to other relatives and their teachers. In addition, children may try to emulate the behavior and appearance of celebrities—movie stars, TV actors, musicians, athletes and other entertainers. These “impersonal” role models often exercise a great deal of influence on children and can have either a positive impact or less favorable one.
To make sure your children choose good role models, the most important thing is to talk to them and steer them in the right direction:
- Ask your children who they respect and admire.
- Ask what qualities in those people make them so attractive.
- Tell your children who your own role models are and why.
If your children reveal to you that some of their role models are public figures who display inappropriate behavior, such as violence, use of bad language or substance abuse, do not overreact. Calmly do the following:
- Remind your children that every human being has good and bad qualities.
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Explain what is inappropriate and why.
- Show the difference between someone who is truly worthy of respect versus someone who only appears to be admirable but actually behaves in a way that is hurtful personally or sets a bad example.
How Parents Can Actively Be Good Role Models
Parents have a huge responsibility to be good role models, and in today’s busy world, it’s easy to neglect this aspect of parenting. Since actions speak louder than words, here are a few simple disciplines for parents to follow:
- Model positivity. When there is a problem to resolve, role model how to make a positive choice, and how to turn something negative into an opportunity to make a change.
- Talk it out. Let children hear how a positive conclusion was created. That way the children learn how to reason out a problem.
- Admit to mistakes. Role model how to apologize with sincerity. Let children know that dad and mom are imperfect, and that everyone has room for improvement. The ability to apologize to a child is one of the best ways to ensure a positive parent-child relationship that lasts a lifetime.
- Show children how to follow through. If parents role model a disciplined approach to exercise, good eating habits and being punctual, for example, there’s a higher chance their children will behave similarly.
- Be respectful towards elders and peers. Children will mimic this behavior.
- Be respectful towards the “little people” themselves, and they will naturally respond accordingly.
- Be true to who you are. Children are like animals in that they have built-in radar for fakes. This radar changes most often during pre-pubescence when fitting in with the crowd takes precedence over being unique. If parents role model self-confidence in who they truly are, chances are the children will have a healthier approach to conformity versus individuality.
